In Chennai, all cars are bumped

You see those nice car ads on television and ultimately decide to take the plunge. You drive off a spanking new, shiny, smooth piece of metal from the automobile dealership, the celebratory tape on the bonnet telling the world that you have decided to make the traffic jam worse by at least one car.

In Chennai, you then realise that your shiny contraption is destined to soon look battered and bruised. Your relatives don't see the point in avoiding driving into the mad whirl of T.Nagar. So you inch along, with autorickshaws that look like noisy garbage cans threatening to test your nerve. Large garbage trucks crowd you out, semi-literate drivers in three-wheeled carriages rush at you...you feel that you and your new car are in a nasty PC game that could be called "Monster Chennai Traffic" or something.

THUMP! Your rear bumber has finally been put to the test. Behind you is either a crazed motorcyclist who wants to drive through you, or an Indicab taxi, or sadly, a very literate stupid middle class moron driving, mostly, a battered piece of junk.

That's what happened to me in my new Alto today. There was this stupid out-of-towner in his white junk-like Maruti 800 (TN 38 F 4955) who just thumped his car into the back of my stationary Alto in front of Chennai's nuclear traffic generator, Saravana Stores, in Panagal Park.

"Sorry," said the culprit. He was so nervous that he quickly sped away.

Luckily, the Alto has been designed for backside hits from middle class morons driving mobile junk. So it showed only a couple of scratches, although the laws of Physics tell me that some of that energy from our moronic friend's Maruti 800 has indeed been transferred to the bolt holding the Alto bumper. It won't hold very well if it is repeatedly targeted by more morons.

But it is not just me in this sort of position.

The next time you are on the road, or better still in a parking lot, look at all the cars and you will find that they all have that bruised look, particularly in the bumpers and on the fenders.

Which is why I believe that many of us should be abandoning the car and taking to the bus and the train. Those who insist on driving should be made to pay extra, so that the money will go towards buying more Metropolitan Transport Corporation buses and suburban and MRTS trains and operating them at sane fares.

Until that happens, we will have only bruised cars, new and old. Don't be fooled by all those girls who feel a little naughty and want to rub some sun tan in an Indica...or by the leather jacketed girl who is overcome by the sexuality of the widebodied Logan. Neither the girls nor those roads exist in real life. On the road with your new car, it is morons that are behind you, ahead of you...all around you.

Lalu Prasad boosts railway fortunes, but in-laws try free tripping

Lalu Prasad has now secured the only endorsement that matters in New Delhi on his running of the gargantuan Indian railway network: Sonia Gandhi has said he is doing fine.

Here is the PTI report on it:

Sonia praises Lalu for "new style" to improve Railways

Rae Bareli (UP), Feb 14. (PTI): UPA chairperson and Congress Chief Sonia Gandhi on Tuesday joined the chorus of praise for Railway Minister Lalu Prasad saying he has introduced "new style" to improve the functioning of the Railways.

"Prasad has introduced a new style to improve the Railways functioning. For this everybody is praising him," she said after laying the foundation stone of a Rail Coach factory in her Lok Sabha constituency Rae Bareli in the presence of Prasad and his two deputies - Naranbhai Rathwa and R Velu.

Referring to the UPA Government, Gandhi said she was happy to say that ever since the party-led coalition came to power at the Centre, a new era of economic development has started, which would bring positive changes in the lifestyle of common people across the country.

As far as the Rail Coach Factory here is concerned, the Congress chief said that Railway Minister Prasad is a man of firm commitment and she was fully confident that this project would be fructified soon and provides jobs to youths.

"Lalu Prasad is firm on his words. Whatever he promises, he does it. That is why I hope that this factory will be ready soon and start working and will provide employment to youth here," she said.

Asserting that people gets name for his works, she said similarly, a Government is also remembered for his work.

"I am satisfied that our UPA Government at the Centre was proving to be a Government that works", she said.

But Lalu's in-laws are not really co-operating, it appears. They were caught without proper tickets but to their credit, they did not provide fodder for the media and quickly paid the fines, continuing their journey. The mainstream media is apparently too embarrassed that the in-laws of the illustrious Lalu were caught without proper ticket and so leading newspapers down south have only a single column item in their inside pages.

This is The Hindu's report of the incident from staffer K.Balchand.

Of course, one must conclude with the observation that Lalu Prasad is hopelessly ignorant of how his Railway system is faring in Chennai. To belabour the point to the insensitive Railway bureaucracy, the MRTS system is a ghost line even today because Lalu and his somnolent deputy Velu have no idea what is going on. Perhaps when Lalu has some time left after his MBA lectures, he can visit Chennai and take a ride on the MRTS.

In some stations, if he walks in after dark, he is likely to fall into the ditches and traps that have been left uncovered by the Southern Railway administration, currently headed by General Manager Thomas Varghese.

No MRTS on weekends

It would have been the kind of interesting "view from the sky" ride that one normally pays heavily for in a theme park. From Chintadripet, in the centre of Chennai, to Adyar (Thiruvanmiyur) in the Southeast on the elevated MRTS.

I wanted to ride the MRTS to listen to Nobel laureate Amartya Sen on the subject of "Health and the Society." It would have been a dream to go on the elevated train to the Adyar point just opposite the venue, which was Voluntary Health Services.

Sadly, Dr. Sen's lecture was on a Saturday and for some strange reason, the Mass Rapid Transit System of Chennai does not operate between Thirumayilai (Mylapore) and Thiruvanmiyur during the weekends. What a shame.

Ultimately, I carpooled with a colleague, and a friend joined us. The only achievement we could speak of was the use of one car instead of three.

If the folks at the Indian Railways Fan Club do read this, can they campaign for the unsung MRTS, please?

I imagine that if the Railways were less greedy and more sensible, they would price their MRTS at two rupees flat for a ride, and run trains every five minutes, potentially packed to capacity.

Too bad the Railway Minister Lalu Prasad is getting so much attention for good performance without really doing anything about this train system and the "stiff upper lip" Southern Railway bureaucracy could not care less.

Chennai: potholed paradise

On New Year's eve, many of the Hyundai Accents received by Chennai Police gratis from the Korean carmaker were at their screaming best. They were zipping along in some places, their lights flashing and sirens wailing or standing with metallic efficiency at other locations (what they achieved is not clear, though).

In 2007, Chennai is no different from what it was a year ago, when there were no freebie Hyundais for "patrolling." After the Northeast Monsoon and with a faceless Mayor at Ripon Building (M. Subramaniam, heard of him?), the metro's roads are a long trail of potholes.

Apparently, the somnolent occupants of the Corporation headquarters have decided to allocate money for road repairs, but the Zonal Officers (Assistant Commissioners) are in no hurry to do basic repair work to fill up the potholes. So in most places, you simply bump along and pay the automobile mechanic more.

This sort of indifference contrasts with the hype generated by globizens about the way this hypermetro is making waves. There are colourful advertisements in newspapers claiming to offer "English" gardens with "Spanish" villas in their midst, tall glass and steel marvels housing BPOs who are linked to international capitals. You only have to spend a fiver on the Mass Rapid Transit System that travels the length of the Cooum and Buckhingham Canal, which are nothing but open sewers, to see what a travesty of truth Chennapatnam is!



The enormous amounts of waste generated by the villa types gets carted to shanties lining these canals, where some of it is segregated for onward sale for crude recycling. The rest is simply dumped on the riverside. The waste plastic and white board dumped summarily in this fashion provides some weak relief to the black sewage-marked banks of the watercourses, while the shanties appear in the background, rusty reminders that there is a city that is invisible to the chatterati and which the media has stopped talking about because it is no longer fashionable to do so.

Showing Chennai like it is, from the MRTS

If you run a search for Chennai on YouTube or Google Video, you see some very basic videos of what this pattanam is famous for.

The crazy way Chennai remains mobile strikes me. There are some foreigners who have put in footage shot from cyclerickshaws and autorickshaws. Others have endangered their lives to shoot scenes of the "pride of Chennai," the 3 km long IT corridor, from the pillion of two wheelers.

I think the future lies with trains and buses, and the only rudimentary video of the city's elevated urban rail that I could locate on YouTube is by someone who goes by the name of Abhiramia:

Here it is



Though the video presents a very familiar perspective for the Chennaiite, to the visitor, it shows the often decrepit state of housing, the profilerating squalor and the generally dirty appearance of the city. Most of it is in Mylapore in the video. Catch a few glimpses of British-era buildings at Chepauk. The seemingly beautiful river is devoid of most river life species because it contains only sewage, fed in by the ever helpful Chennai Metrowater agency that is supposed to treat the city's sewage.

Lalu, Harvard, Wharton, IIMs...

Union Minister Lalu Prasad Yadav's contribution to the so-called turning around of the Indian Railways is now the subject of study by two business schools, Harvard and Wharton.

There are few materials available on record to show that Mr. Yadav has implemented any special management measures that have led to a profitable spell for the railways.



By most accounts, the Minister has been wise enough to leave the running of the gargantuan railway system to the somewhat reclusive set of professionals who make up the Indian Railway Technical Service and the Indian Railway Accounts Service.

As I have been repeatedly pointing out, Mr. Yadav and his less prominent deputy in the Ministry, Mr. Velu have done little for the Mass Rapid Transit System in Chennai. The picture shows it all. There is a lot of real estate in the MRTS stations, such as Chintadripet here. But it is completely wasted because the only occupants of the neglected building are some transport contractors and parcel agents for bus operators.

On most days, the approach to the station is dark, the entrance obscured from view by a proliferation of bushes and storm drains without covers that people fall into.

Not the kind of rail transit system that someone from Harvard or Wharton would imagine Mr. Yadav is running at a profit, or come to think of it, even at a loss.

Metro railway for Chennai

At long last, it appears (just appears) that Chennai is moving ahead with a Metro rail project.

Here is A.Srivathsan's report in The Hindu on it.

If the DMK government is intelligent (which is unlikely in its present avatar) it will built a solid metro for the city and stake its claim to have revolutionised mobility in Chennai. The first step of involving the DMRC is positive, but the future course is hazy at present.

Srivathsan makes the important point that the MRTS in Chennai in a sort of stupor because the State Government sees no stake in it, and a similar attitude to the metro rail, bus and suburban rail options in the future will create another dysfunctional system. So far, the State Government has not shown any interest to go beyond its atrophied bus monopoly, the Metropolitan Transport Corporation.

Sadly, the two dravidian parties and the palsied Congress in Tamil Nadu cannot bring themselves to think beyond the immediate future and the filthy lucre that they can make from deals. The other parties, including those professing green credentials, only give the impression that they are perpetrating an elaborate hoax on the State.

There are others also who think that cheaper cars are not the answer to Chennai's mobility problem, metros and buses are. Here is a blog post that reflects this view.

Lalu Prasad Yadav wants to raise Railway Profits

A correction to a report in The Hindu published today says Railway Minister Lalu Prasad Yadav wants to raise the profits of the Railways by a few thousand crores.

The Reader's Editor says, "A sentence in "Garib Rath may run from all State capitals: Lalu" (December 11, 2006) was: "Mr. [Lalu] Prasad said his target was to increase the railway profit from Rs. 13.5 crore to Rs. 20 crore in the next fiscal." It should have been Rs. 13,500 crore to Rs. 20,000 crore."

My own contention is that Mr.Yadav has to only galvanize the Mass Rapid Transit System (MRTS) in Chennai, which is sitting on several hundred crores worth of property in this metro.

If the stations on this line are put to good use, they are sure to generate significant levels of revenue.




The picture here shows what could have been well-patronised shops in one of the MRTS stations (Chintadripet). Their sorry state shows that Southern Railway has little idea of how to improve its revenues.