When Paris Hilton is off the road

"I do not expect to be treated better than anyone else who violated probation. However, my hope is that I will not be treated worse," says Paris Hilton, as quoted by TIME magazine.

What a pity that some countries take their driving norms seriously and send people to jail for driving on a suspended licence during probation.

All that such people need to do is take a flight to India, where people are never ever penalised for the way they drive or cause accidents due to their rash and negligent behaviour. Why driving norms, in this land of holy cows, the holiest cow is the motor car! Next only in importance is the motorised two-wheeler. If you have one, you can violate all rules, starting with red lights.

What a shame that Paris has to wear an orange jumpsuit and spend time in jail, when her daddy has kept a fortune for her. India chalo bhai! Here is where you enjoy life, with S Class Mercedeses, Audis, BMWs, Honda SUVs, Toyota Camrys and many more machines all zipping through shanty towns, on dusty roads lined with open toilets.

And if you are Paris Hilton at the wheel, you can get prime time attention on all our fantastic news television channels that are desperate for celebrity sound bites. If you are caught DUI, you just fork out ten notes to the cop team and they will give you a salute. If you are too drunk to notice people and end up killing someone, just raise your compensation package a little. But never, ever, will you go to jail for such silly reasons.

"East is East and West is West. Never the twain shall meet"